WITH MY BELOVED FAMILY

Family Ties-When To Let Go

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

RUTH consulted with me because she was confused about what to do regarding her mother, her brother, and her son. From the time Ruth was born, she never felt like she belonged in her family. Her mother ignored Ruth, obviously preferring her brother, and consistently allowed her brother to beat Ruth up. Ruth had some connection with her father, but he was a weak man and never stood up for her or protected her. Ruth was a loving child and tried in any way she could to please her mother and brother, to no avail. She could never understand why her family didn’t like her.
As an adult, she married an emotionally unavailable man, a man very much like her mother. As with her mother and brother, she tried in many ways to get his love and never succeeded. Her son, Dylan, was eight years old when they divorced.
Dylan always seemed to prefer his father, and finally went to live with his father when he was sixteen. Once again, Ruth was completely in the dark regarding why her son didn’t like her. She had been such a devoted mother, so why was he rejecting her?
Ruth finally married again, this time to a loving man, and had another child. Her current family was totally different from her previous family and from her family of origin. However, she still hoped to have a relationship with her mother. She would send her mother birthday and Christmas cards, but rarely heard from her. The final blow that sent her to seek my help came when she found out that her son had gotten married without telling her, and that her brother had moved her mother into a nursing home and sold everything without telling her.
Ruth was a shining light of love. Her eyes, her smile, her gestures all radiated love and compassion. Her deeply gentle and peaceful nature was evident at first glance.
“Why? Why don’t they like me?” she asked.
“Because you are a giver and they are takers,” I told her. ‘Givers care about others, while takers just want to take from others. You can never give enough to a taker to receive any caring back, because they don’t like themselves. They reject themselves and try to get others to give to them. Because they have emotionally abandoned themselves, they are angry at others for not giving enough to them. Your mother and brother were united in their taking from you, as were your first husband and son. They look at you and see a fountain of love coming from you and they want it, but they are incapable of receiving it. Your light contrasts with their darkness and they hate you for it.”
“But what can I do?”
“Nothing, other than not be around them. They will suck the life out of you if you allow them to spend time with you. I know you care about them, but they are incapable of caring about themselves or you, so you have to let them go. It is not in your highest good to be with people who are incapable of valuing you – who just want to take from you.”
“But can’t I help them?”
“No, because they are not asking for help. I know you have believed that if you just love them enough, they will heal and love you back, but this will never happen because they are not open to your love. They feel inadequate in the face of your open heart and their closed hearts, and they take their self-judgment out on you. There is nothing you can to do to help them open their hearts. Only they can do that. It is unlikely your mother or brother will ever open their hearts, but perhaps your son will in time. He will come to you if he does.”
“But I have such a great life now. Isn’t it selfish of me to just let them go?”
“No, it is self-responsible. It is not loving to yourself to be around people who treat you badly.”
Ruth understood. She felt sad, but relieved. She finally saw that all she could do was pray for them to open their hearts.

Singapore JewelFest 2007

Singapore JewelFest 2007 (SJF2007) brings together leading brands in Singapore and around the world under one roof at the Jewel Pavilion from October 12 to 21. This is the festival's highlight exhibition, showcasing more than S$6 million worth of jewellery. During the 10-day exhibition profiling "The Bold & Beautiful", there will be special showcases of heritage pieces, rare stones and limited edition designs. Jewellery lovers will also get to shop for their favourite pieces with our jewellery trends feature; Diamond Oct 13-14, Pearls Oct 15-16, Gold Oct 17-18, Gems Oct 19-20, and Jade Oct 21. Participating brands include couture brands from Singapore, Italy, United States, Malaysia and Hong Kong.Back to Sheer Splendour in Singapore

Perfect Engagement Ring

By: Stella Williams

WHEN it comes to buying the perfect engagement ring, we know that it's as important as the marriage proposal, and it's also as important as the wedding reception itself. Since this engagement ring is going to be something that reminds you of something sweet, a cherished moment in your life, the engagement ring should be absolutely nothing short of perfect.

It's not hard to find an engagement ring of your choice. You can find fabulous engagement rings on the Internet or by visiting a local jewelry store near you, but this is a fact - when it comes to buying engagement rings, it's not WHAT you know about engagement rings, diamonds and the quality of gold that matters, it's WHO the engagement seller is and his reputation in the engagement ring sector.

Regardless of how successful the engagement ring seller is, a dishonest engagement ring seller will always try his or her best to fool you about the quality and price of the engagement rings he or she sells. This is to ensure highest possible profit. Even the most experienced and established engagement dishonest ring retailer will try to do this.

However, there's a handful of honest engagement ring sellers who will give you a fabulous deal even if you know NOTHING about engagement rings. Their focus is not to fool you once-off. But the most important trait that an honest engagement ring seller has is that he or she is trying to give you value for money and build trust and a long-term relationship with you. They want you to take the engagement ring home, show it off to your friends and relatives, and then give good reviews about where you got the engagement ring and what a great deal you got for the engagement ring. It's in their interest that you buy one engagement ring, and come back for the wedding ring. It's to their benefit that you trust and have confidence in them that you recommend the engagement ring store to your sister, cousin, aunts and uncles so that they will buy their engagement rings, wedding rings, and jewelry from them.

All jewelers and engagement ring retailers have access to the same pool of diamond and gold resources in the country. The difference is in the seller and how much profit they want to make from you for the sale of the engagement ring.

Finally, be sure to shop around a little bit more before you buy the engagement ring. Most jewelry shops carry the same or similar (if not better) design of engagement rings and you can find different pricing for them somewhere else. And have fun shopping around too!

When Dating Relationship Go Bad

By Gabby Love

THE overall reason people stay in relationships that just aren't working is because of fear of being alone. Many people are basically considered "walking dead" when it comes to being in a relationship that has no merit of making it. Gabby Love offers many key warning signs that a relationship is on the brink of failure and it's time to move on. A. Fighting for no reason at all. When you start fighting over petty points that seem to blow out of proportion, i.e. leaving the toilet seat up is a favorite. The man being used to living his whole life on his own all of a sudden is considered inconsiderate and uncaring by the woman if the toilet seat is left up. B. Showing little or no affection. It's funny how this is such a gray area that can break up a relationship because it's usually determined by the disgruntled party. What is really too much or too little? C. The dreaded friends of the disgruntled party take center stage. Remember how excited you were when you first met and that special person was considered your true "soul mate" ? Now the meeting of disgruntled friends opinion appears center stage for discussion in your relationship. D. If there was sexual involvement in the relationship it basically has been stopped or so mundane that you can't wait until you are through. To me this is the real sign it's over. Sex should be considered 90% mental and 10% physical. E. Conversation in a relationship has become null and void. Remember the long hours on the phone and in person talking about everything? Now you can barely say one word to each other. F. Finding your focus shifted to others instead of the one you are with. Remember sitting at a table and gazing into each others eyes when you first started dating? Now you look elsewhere instead of with the one you are with. G. Finding excuses to not be together alone is becoming more evident. One of the favorite cop outs is work. Always working late becomes a popular tool because the other party can say they are too tired to get together. H. Vacations are spent apart. Let's not forget the movie "How Stella Got Her Groove Back." Vacations apart are meant as a reason to explore new potential recruits. If your mate says they are going to a particular romantic getaway spot by themselves or with friends....boy... the signs are on the wall! It's over! The above are just a few key points to look out for in a relationship that is going bad. Always remember a healthy relationship should be uplifting and positive.

Being A Parent: Opportunities

By: Bill Platt

THE biggest challenge I have had to face in my own life is that of being a good parent. My kids make it hard for me to stay true to the rules of good parenting... They break everything I own... Repeatedly... Fortunately, I do have the presence of mind to realize that as toddlers and young children, they really do not intend to break things... Instead, they are trying to get a grasp on how the world around them works. Yep, the lego floats. I wonder what it will do if I flush it?? "Daddy! The toilet is stopped up." So, Daddy pulls the toilet up, tries to backfeed a snake, and finally gives up. Daddy had to buy a new toilet, because he could not loose the lego stuck in its plumbing. Of course, the kiddies never told me what they flushed. All I knew is that I could not get it out. So, I turned it into a learning experience for my boys. I carried the toilet to the street, and took the boys with me. I took my trusty hammer and broke the plumbing portion of the toilet to see what kind of blockage I had tried to overcome. Upon finding a lego in the plumbing, I instructed the boys that the reason they could not use their toilet is because their lego got stuck. We have been working with the kids to teach them an understanding of the value of money. The six year old is starting to get it, but the boy who just turned four is still a bit unconcerned about such things. I explained to the boys that we would have to spend money to buy a new toilet. And, because that requires money to be spent, I would not be able to afford to take them bowling as promised. I could have afforded to do so, but they needed to learn a lesson. Once they calmed from losing their bowling privileges, we took a bad and made it fun. Each boy got the opportunity to use the hammer on the remains of our toilet. The trash guys would not have picked up the toilet, because it was a big object. So, I killed two birds with one stone, so to speak. Each boy got to take turns breaking the toilet into smaller pieces. They had a blast. Then, we took the chance to teach them the basics of basketball. We needed the small chunks of porcelain in the trash barrel, so we set the barrel nearby and tossed bits of the remains of the toilet into the trash can, as if we were playing basketball. It was an awesome experience overall, and my kids got to learn a few things, and try a few new things along the way. And yes, we did wash our hands after our game of basketball.

Toddlers – Planning a Vacation with Kids

By: Spiffy Baby

GOT Toddlers? Got Chaos! Planning any kind of trip with toddlers can be complicated. There are certain things to keep in mind that might help preserve your sanity and possibly even let you have a little bit of fun together as a family.

Arrive Leisurely
Traveling with a toddler can take a toll on even the most patient parent. If you are flying, the experience can be exciting and will keep them occupied for about ten minutes before your little one is ready to start a full-scale exploration effort. In an airplane you do have the opportunity to get up and move around – take a trip to the restroom or, pilot willing, consider a trip to the cockpit.

Car rides can be complicated as well. Fortunately, toddlers are great at napping in the car, so you might consider leaving right before naptime and letting your enthusiastic one sleep the first couple of hours. A lot of parents also drive in the evening in hopes of a sleepy car ride for longer than a few hours.

While your toddler is awake, consider a favorite video, toys (http://www.spiffybaby.com/Toys-Playtime-p-1-c-5.html), books, coloring, action figures, snacks and anything else you can think of to keep them entertained. Plan on plenty of stops along the way to get out, change diapers and stretch legs. Rushing to get anywhere just makes things more stressful, so don’t get in a hurry.

Maintain a Routine
Your toddler probably has a nice nap routine at home, and vacation is not a time to wing it. If your little one naps at noon every day, move mountains to help them nap at noon on the road. Take a break in the hotel room or alternate separate parent activities so someone is there to help even the most reluctant toddler take a break in a busy day. Try to keep bedtime reasonably close to normal, too – a tired toddler is not a toddler that travels well.

Keep it Loose
If you are a scheduling fanatic when it comes to travel, toddler travel may not be for you. Plan activities with plenty of cushion time in between. Toddlers aren’t able to appreciate fine architecture, but they love a good fountain or the local zoo. Find activities that have a little bit of something for everyone – zoos, parks, beaches, hikes, wildlife, etc…

Mix “grown-up” activities in with toddler activities to give everyone something to look forward to. You might also want to pick a few of the most important landmarks to see and leave the rest for when your child has an attention span longer than fifteen minutes. Above all, just remember that this should be fun for everyone – even if you never leave the hotel pool!

Dress For Success

FEW clothing accessories denote style and luxury as Silk Ties can. Silk Ties add a special sheen to a man's suit offering both visual interest and personal expression. Other Materials may be used in the manufacturing of ties but silk has a built in cache of expense and glamour. Silk ties benefit from the richer dyes used by silk producers and the expertise of high end designers. Fashion experts often coordinate tailored suits with appropriate silk ties for effect. Business fashion experts say the choice of tie can reflect the wearers personality or preferred image. Silk Ties offer very bold color schemes and pattern which imply power or security. These ties can also be coordinated with dress shirts to give the impression of organization and personal neatness. Silk can be printed or woven. Woven silk tends to be thicker and you will often see a fabric weave running through it. How to clean a Silk Tie: 1. Act immediately 2. Resist the temptation to expose a silk tie to water 3. Use a white paper towel to dab a small amount of stain remover onto the stain 4. Blot with the paper towel. 5. Have the tie professionally dry- cleaned if you haven’t gotten rid of the stain.

TIE IT TO YOUR HEART

I HAVE always dreamt of a world of peace without any war where the communities of the world live in harmony and help another. Religion, language and skin complexion would no longer be a stumbling block in achieving peace. On the contrary, these factors could be used to appreciate the differences and use it to enrich our world. Come and let us white our souls by starting the wristlet. If we had been using wrist watches or bangles, surely it would be unnecessary to use a tiewrist. However we could foster a stronger and more meaningful relationship with our family members, neighbors, the local community members, members of an organization, school, state, country and even the world by tying a common wristlet as a symbol of love, togetherness, cooperation and global unity. This tying of the tiewrist does not exist among the commoners but also could eventually include the world leaders. I dream of a world one day where leaders of the world in formal functions such as meetings at the United Nations or NAM sharing a common wristlet as a sign of togetherness and cooperation. Let us tie the soul of every human being before we disintegrate even further. We want every human being to appreciate peace, unity and security. Let the slogan “Tie It To YourHeart” be a guidance to us all in this world. Surely this will take time but we at TaliTie are determine to begin it. Its they say “A Journey To A Thousand Mile Begins With The First Step”.

Abd Bashid Harun

President

TieWrisT.Port

Men's Tie Accessories & What They Do

TODAY'S tie is a descendent of the European cravat which was a long strip of cloth worn about the neck. A starched, white ruff was then attached to keep the jacket or doublet from becoming marred or stained as well as functioning as a napkin or bib as the need arose. Ties are used now as a fashion statement or as part of a uniform.
We’ve all seen comical situations occur with men and their ties. For instance, when the news camera catches a man walking across the street during a storm and his tie is blowing frantically around his head. Without a doubt, there are also dangers lurking with tie-wearers which need to be taken into consideration, such as when the tie gets caught in machinery. To avoid such circumstances, several smart devices have been invented that enables the tie to be attached to the dress shirt underneath, thereby holding it in place.
The following list gives the names and descriptions of each of these devices:
TIE BAR: Much like the shape and function of a paperclip, this is an elongated strip of metal used to slide across the tie, attaching it to the shirt. Tie bars, also known as tie slides can be found in plain or decorative patterns.
TIE CHAIN: Usually made from gold or silver, and resembling a hanger with a loop to attach to a button with a chain hanging down from either end. The tie is slipped through the loop, hiding the bar and revealing the chain in front.
TIE CLIP: Two or three strips of material joined together by a spring-loaded mechanism which is clipped across the tie and shirt, holding them together. Also known as a tie clasp, they come in a variety of materials, lengths and shapes. Many have decorative engravings, logos or gemstones attached.
TIE STRAP: A relatively new accessory which is slipped through the back of the tie through the label loop then buttoning it above and below. They are usually made of cloth or plastic.
TIE TACK: Also known as a tie pin, this utensil resembles a studded earring with a chain attached to a long, cylindrical piece of metal or weight. The pin is detached from its base and placed through the material of the tie and then reattached to the base. The weight is then slid through a buttonhole, which keeps the tie in place.
It’s a matter of preference which instrument each person uses but one thing to remember with tie pins is that they tend to damage the silk tie cloth when piercing them. When shopping for tie clips, be sure to choose the correct widths and materials to complement your tie collection.

"J" Line Memang Mempesona

SYARIKAT JUVIO turut memasarkan tali leher "j" Line mereka yang cukup mempesona dan sesuai dijadikan hadiah kepada suami yang tercinta. Pasangan yang menerima "j" Line daripada anda, pasti akan beasa bertuah memiliki anda kerana anda tahu pilihan paling tepat untuknya. "j" Line yang seratus peratus daripada sutera halus dijual lengkap dengan klip lengan baju dan dipadankan dengan warna kotak yang sedondon. JUVIO begitu teliti menghasilkan tali leher dan mengambil kira pembungkusannya agar ianya benar-benar sebuah hadiah yang dikenang untuk sepanjang hayat. "j" Line bukan sahaja indah pada nama, tetapi kualitinya sentiasa dipastikan berada pada tahap maksimum untuk menjamin kepuasan pembeli. "j" Line tidak serupa dengan tali leher yang lain.

TIE BERALUN

Dr Stephen Zuckerman. Beliau mulanya bencikan tali leher sehinggalah beliau membeli belah di bandar Minneasota pada suatu malam di musim sejuk. Beliau berdiri di sebelah seorang lelaki yang memakai tali leher di sebatang jalan di bandar itu. Di bawah cahaya lampu neon yang malap, balikan tali leher itu menembusi cermin matanya; seolah-olah berombak atau beralun. Cantik katanya. Mengapa mesti memakai tali leher biasa yang lurus tepinya. Bukankah yang beralun lebih cantik dan sesuai juga dipakai oleh wanita. Sejak hari itulah beliau mencipta dan mengembangkan tali leher scalloped.Baginya Tali Leher beralun merupakan revolusi penciptaan tali leher. Tali leher scalloped memberi makna baru kepada "ritual" pemakaian tali leher.

NYATAKAN SOKONGAN ANDA DENGAN MENGIKAT TALI NEGERI

Technorati Profile

IKATAN di sebelah merupakan salah satu produk kami. Kami namakan ikatan ini sebagai Tali Selangor. Tali Selangor, seperti juga Tali Perak, Tali Kedah dan lain-lain tali seumpama ini kami kategorikan sebagai Tali Negeri. Kami juga menamakannya Tali Penyokong. Tali Negeri ini dibuat dengan tangan menggunakan benang berwarna. Jumlah warna bergantung kepada warna-warna yang digunakan oleh pasukan masing-masing. Tali Selangor yang dijalin menggunakan benang berwarna merah dan kuning, seperti juga Tali Negeri atau Tali Penyokong lain sesuai diikat pada pergelangan tangan para penyokong pasukan Selangor dalam semua acara yang melibatkan peserta atau pasukan dari negeri Selangor. Sekatat ini kami menjual semua jenis Tali Negeri. Kami menjualnya dengan harga RM5.00 setiap satu. Harga ini termasuk bayaran pos dan sampul penghantaran. Jika anda berminat dengan Tali Negeri ini hubungi kami melalui email baslsa559t@yahoo.com. Barang akan sampai dalam masa 3 hingga 7 hari selepas wang diterima.

TaliTie Membantu Anda Mengikat Kasih Sayang

TaliTie diasaskan dengan visi jangka panjang membantu individu dan pasangan, mengikat tali kasih sayang melalui simpulan tali ciptaan kami di samping merundingkan hadiah berupa akesori pilihan bertali dan alatali seperti tali leher, kasut bertali, jam tangan, tali persahabatan, tali penyokong, rakhi, bracelet, wristlet, wrist band, gelang, kalung dan anting-anting. Misi kami ialah membantu anda memilih item dan ungkapan yang sesuai untuk mengikat orang yang tersayang di sekeliling anda seperti suami, isteri, anak, ibu, bapa, guru, adik beradik, jiran tetangga, dan warga dunia. Kami semua mahu amalan ini dipraktikkan. Anda bukan sahaja menemui aksesori yang anda mahu di TaliTie, tetapi berharap anda luangkan sedikit masa berkualiti anda dengan menyarungkan sendiri barangan di tubuh yang tersayang. Ini sesuai dengan slogan kami iaitu Ikat Si Dia Untuk Pikat Hatinya.

Selain itu kami juga menjual item terpilih lain seperti beg tangan, dan menjadi affiliate kepada beberapa barangan terpilih. Kami mulakan langkah pertama ini, dengan berkongsi aspirasi kami dengan anda semua. Kami mahukan anda memahami bahawa kami membantu anda mengikat si dia untuk memikat hatinya. Justeru kami mengalu-alukan sebarang cadangan yang boleh dikemukakan melalui komen di ruangan ini atau mengutus email kepada kami di alamat bluemahseer@yahoo.com

Salam manis daripada saya,

Abd Bashid Harun
Presiden TieWrist Port